Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Love's Labor is Never Lost

...... My husband is an Engineer by profession, I love him
for his steady nature, and I love the warm feeling
when I lean against his broad shoulders.

Three years of courtship and now, two years into
marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting
tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before,
has now transformed into the cause of all my
restlessness. I am a sentimental woman and
extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship
and my feelings, I yearn for the romantic moments,
like a little girl yearning for candy.

My husband, is my complete opposite, his lack of
sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic
moments into our marriage has disheartened me about

One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision,
that I wanted a divorce. "Why?" he asked, shocked.
"I am tired,there are no reasons for everything in
the world!" I answered.

He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep
thought with a lighted cigarette at all times. My
feeling of disappointment only increased, here was
a man who can't even express his predicament, what
else can I hope from him? And finally he asked
me:" What can I do to change your mind?" Somebody
said it right, it's hard to change a person's p
ersonality, and I guess, I have started losing
faith in him.

Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered :
"Here is the question, if you can answer and
convince my heart, I will change my mind, Let's
say,I want a flower located on the face of a
mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking
the flower will cause your death, will you do it
for me?"

He said :" I will give you your answer tomorrow...."
My hopes just sank by listening to his response.
I wokeup the next morning to find him gone, and
saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting,
underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near
the front door, that goes....My dear,"I would not
pick that flower for you, but please allow me to
explain the reasons further.."

This first line was already breaking my heart. I
continued reading."When you use the computer you
always mess up the Software programs,and you cry
in front of the screen, I have to saved my fingers
so that I can help to restore the programs.

You always leave the house keys behind, thus I
have to save my legs to rush home to open the door
for you.

You love traveling but always lose your way in a new
city, I have to save my eyes to show you the way.You like
to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be
infected by infantile autism. I have to save my
mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your
boredom. You always stare at the computer, and that
will do nothing good for your eyes, I have to save
my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to
clip your nails,and help to remove those annoying
white hairs. So I can also hold your hand while
strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine
and the beautiful sand... and tell you the colour of
flowers, just like the color of the glow on your young
face...Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is
someone who loves you more than I do... I could not
pick that flower yet, and die.. "

My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of
his handwriting...and as I conntinue on reading...
"Now, that you have finished reading my answer, if
you are satisfied, please open the front door for
I am standing outside bringing your favorite bread
and fresh milk...I rush to pull open the door, and
saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his
hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread.... Now
I am very sure that no one will ever love me as
much as he does,and I have decided to leave the
flower alone...

That's life, and love. When one is surrounded by
love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one
tends to ignore the true love that lies in between
the peace and dullness. Love shows up in all forms,
even very small and cheeky forms, it has never been
a model, it could be the most dull and boring form.. .
flowers,and romantic moments are only used and appear
on the surface of the relationship. Under all this,
the pillar of true love stands...and that's our life...
Love, not words win arguments.


Manoj said...

Your story makes a very good first impression. But if you look closely, I think the story is inherently flawed and contradicts itself. The whole story is build around the inability of the husband to express his emotions. These lines stress this point

"My husband, is my complete opposite, his lack of
sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic
moments into our marriage has disheartened me about

But when confronted, with divorce, I dont get how the hero of the story becomes so articulate in expressing his feelings. If he infact had this capability of being able to communicate his feelings, then something must be wrong with him that he choose not do this until he was confronted with divorce.

These lines
" and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship " is absoulte BS.
The romantic moments you are refering are pseudo romantic moments because, romantic moments by definiton mean those moments where each partner in the relationship discover and explore themselves in their partner. These moments are abosultely necessary for any long term relationship to sustain.

Amar said...

Hey Manoj, nice to see ur comment. they r very thoughtful. however, firstly, let me tell you this is a piece i havent written myself(i wud have loved to call it my piece). this was circulating over the net and i found it interesting and so i put it up here.

Coming to ur comment, i entirely agree with ur view. However magically it may arise, love is something that has to be worked upon to sustain it. Having said that, the dramtic story, i think, is abt how the guy took his wife for granted and got lost to the world. its not difficult seeing such folks in this complex world where so much seems to be happening parallely with our personal lives. so much so that we loose touch with ourself and our love. i see this story illustrating such situation where the expressions dry up, not the inherent love. this is fairly dramatised to bring out the situation and the kind of the personalities involved. there are different people, different ambitions, different priorities..love is the common thread all through. so people can land up in different situations. I hope i made some reason here.